All Your Problems Lie Within: Heal Thyself

I detest Tucker Carlson but you have to admire his skill as an interviewer and media personality. He is clearly a very smart and well educated person at the top of his game. Too bad his game is spreading hate and division in America. 

But he said something that was deeply insightful during his “All in Podcast” interview. He identified a deep seated self-loathing that we seem to have in America and especially among the elites and the well off. 

I can’t believe I’m quoting him but here is what he said: “I think the problem is prosperity and I’ve noticed this as a middle aged man, as I’ve gotten to know people who have become successful. In some cases very successful. I’ve noticed that when they succeed and they get everything they want, they destroy themselves. I’ve noticed this again and again and again. 

You are the dog that caught the car. I think it’s more than idle time, there is a metaphysical quality, there are factors that I don’t understand that are deeper actually. But I just noticed it. There is something about affluence that over time convinces people to kill themselves.” 

Something self destructive comes out when we are doing well. It’s like we are purposely shooting ourselves in our foot. Like we feel we don’t deserve our success as a country or even as individuals. This certainly describes many of the rich kids I have met. Or successful entrepreneurs, celebrities and business people. They completely self-destruct. Sometimes in their business life but almost always in their personal lives. A “self own" we would call it. 

It’s so strange, yet when I think back on my life either as a child or even adult, I’ve done this to myself. Every time I’m getting ahead, I seem to do something stupid. Any financial windfall I had I would squander. 

And when I didn’t mess things up financially, I did so on the personal side. Closing up, or worse, lashing out at family (not physically, but emotionally). No wonder my family life is such a disastrous mess. I’d been doing this unconsciously for decades. 

I wonder sometimes if this goes back to my upbringing of never feeling enough, being the disappointment in the family & community. Not feeling worthy. Something I’ve overcompensated by focusing so much energy and time in my career and financial success. Only to self sabotage when I start to really get somewhere. 

People are strange. The minute you start to think you know yourself, there are stranger depths you stumble upon. However, like all problems you need to attack it head on. Directly, which is the only way I know how to. You have to face these dark urges if you want to overcome them. Therapy helps. So does meditation and lots of reading & thinking. 

Ultimately, to paraphrase an old Cherokee tribe saying: “we all have two wolves inside us. One is good aka positive. One is evil aka negative. The one that wins is the one we feed.” I think about this often.