Everyone Needs a Sanctuary: Finding Your Shelter in a World of Chaos

It’s a nutty world out there. I see this every day as I travel the world. I live in the USA which is chaos and mental illness all encapsulated in a country. I also work in the fast changing tech industry which adds another layer of insanity. That’s why it’s so important to have a refuge from this. Especially a Taurus where I like things to be ordered and well planned. Predictable. 

For some people, sanctuary is family, your parents, your spouse or close friends. But this is a double edged sword. In its ability to bring you incredible happiness, but also a very high level of pain and sorrow. I used to treat my household in San Francisco as this retreat but unfortunately the 2020 pandemic lockdowns pretty much destroyed this. 

One of the repercussions of 2020 that society will be dealing with over the next decades is mass scarring and negative psychological impact on our kids as well as the destruction of many romantic relationships during the lockdowns. I know countless couples who broke up or divorced over the last few years with the cause stemming from pandemic times. 

For someone like me, who hates relying on other people, it’s also incredibly risky. Once burned, twice shy as they say. Nothing worse than returning to a tumultuous family life on top of work. It’s unsettling to say the least. 

So what can you do?

That’s why I took the advice that investor & business influencer Codie Sanchez provided, when she had gotten divorced, “one thing that helped me…. I got this little tiny townhouse that I rented. And that tiny townhouse, nesting, in a place just my own, that felt really safe was one of the weirdest unlocks that I ever had. Now I think of it as the power of place. If you can just have somewhere else, that is just yours. 

My biggest recommendation for people who go through a divorce or a really tumultuous change in partner is there is something like a glass of wine or a cup of tea in this tiny townhouse. But it was mine. And I didn’t have to share it. I didn’t have to compromise and (I could) just be me. From there I could just sort of recreate again”

It really makes sense. That’s why the next closest thing which I rely on is a physical place: my hotel room, as I travel often, and my books. They provide me a refuge to meditate and calm myself. They are physical things that you can almost fully control. Your little oasis. 

And it’s the first step to get you back on the right path. You need this to regain agency in a world that is constantly trying to take this away from you. Think of it as another tool that enables you to thrive in a complex world whether you are married, divorced, separated or single.