Explore The Pain: Pain Leads to the Truth

Have you ever had a situation that absolutely enrages you? A customer email or feedback? Something one of your followers on social media comments on? Something a trusted investor or family member or friend says to you? 

This thought came to me after a particularly rough family therapy session. I was far more angry & sad than normal. It wrecked me for about a week. But as I tried to face it, and pondered on it, it turned out to be the breakthrough I needed. When you hear or read something that angers you, there is usually some kernel of truth in it. It’s the path to revelation and insight. Maybe even enlightenment.

We tend to be good at looking coldly at other people’s problems and situations, because we are not fully in it. But when it’s directed at us, we get so trapped in our emotions or in the hit to our ego or maybe it reflects something we hate or want to avoid. 

It’s just so much easier to bury it and move on. Ignore the problem. Blame the messenger or the situation. Call them A–holes. Unfortunately this just kicks the can down the road. And is another excuse to avoid facing the truth. If you don’t face the reality you cannot take steps to deal with it. And it just gets worse and harder to fix.  

This is why it’s important to have trusted advisors, friends and even community. True friends stab you in the front. You need to get called out on your own bull sh-t, arrogance or stupidity sometimes. NO one is perfect. In fact, we’re all pretty messed up and flawed in some form or other. 

So next time something makes you particularly angry. Wallow and explore this feeling, be honest about what it signifies and whether they may be right. Maybe they are. And if so, you can make things right.