Finding Your Why: The Hard Secret to Surviving

I’ll admit these last few years have been tough mentally. The beginning of 2023 was especially hard as my relationship with my teenage daughter and wife really deteriorated. I had a few days of really tough mornings getting up, which does not happen often. Frustration, deep sadness, lethargy and not a bit of rage and crazy thoughts. 

I think a big part of this is my feeling of “what’s the point?” When I was a single person it was all about me and rising through the business world, making money. This is as Simon Sinek says: my “Why.” My purpose and mission. 

But that mission obviously changes when you become a father and taking care of your family becomes your new purpose and mission. It’s an incredible motivator to do the things you don’t want to do because you have no choice. But also because you want to. You want to make yourself better and accumulate material things to provide an amazing life for them. You have a legacy now to nurture. 

This is also why as a VC investor we try to fund mission-oriented founders because they have a “why” that motivates them to grind and push through the inevitable soul crushing stress and problems that inevitably arise. 

All humans who aren’t sociopaths are motivated by serving a good cause. That’s why people become revolutionaries or join religions or cults. We want to believe in something bigger than ourselves. It’s how social movements get started. Humans need to believe in something, sometimes anything. We need to believe in a better future for ourselves and our families. Perhaps this is why so many people feel despair or lack hope because of the lack of “why”. 

It’s going to get ugly out there. So take the time to figure out your “Why” and this will give you a fighting chance to get through this ugly mess. Our lives need to count for something even in our short time in this world. That we did our part and left something better after us.