The Problem with Rage: My Ongoing Process of Anger Management

I think a big part of my momentum in my career and life is due to the massive chip on my shoulder. I’ve considered it an asset for a long time. This rage and anger to prove people wrong by winning. This was the spur to the incredible investments I made in my career and work. 100+ working hours a week. It works until it does not. 

But it’s also been a curse. Seeing red when you are thwarted in your plans, in setbacks and when you feel you are treated unfairly. Or worse, dealing with unethical people or idiots. 

Another great insight from my friends at the sci-fi series of Warhammer 40k, Dan Abnett’s “The End and the Death.”

“Rage is a weakness in any true warrior. Rage makes a man rash and clumsy, and it diminishes his skill and technique, no matter how highly trained he is. It sucks away finesse. It dilutes focus. It forces errors and overreach, and steals a man’s precision and discipline. 

Rage, and the less of control that comes with it, is a self-inflicted wound.”

You need to be calm in times of crisis. So you can see things clearly. It’s easier to solve problems in this mode. 

I am starting  to fully understand the old Chekist saying by Felix Dzerzhinsky, who started the predecessor to the KGB: that a real “agent must have a cool head, warm heart and clean hands.”  Yes, these were awful people but they were damn effective at what they do.

Warm heart means passion and drive but it needs to be properly channeled. That’s where having a calm and clear mind comes to play. Anger and rage only gets you so far and it’s a tool of the young to take action. But as you get older like me, you have to learn to control this or the blowback on your life and career will threaten all the gains you have made. I speak from painful experience as always.