Tulsa King: Everybody Has Problems

I started watching Taylor Sheridan’s new television series “Tulsa King” starring Sylvester Stallone (who incidentally has aged really well, shows that fitness and working out helps a lot). It’s a show about a gangster who served 25 years in prison for killing someone for his mob family and boss. Expecting to get rewarded for his sacrifices and loyalty he ends up being exiled to Tulsa, Oklahoma to expand his mob family's business. That’s when the adventure begins. 

It’s a great series but like most shows and movies I watch I tend to draw lessons from many of them.

From the outside, he is the dominant alpha male, growing the business, making cash and living the life while staying at the best hotel in town. He is chipper and happy from appearances. But inside he is in tremendous pain, having been divorced by his wife, estranged from his beloved daughter. He loved “the life” he chose only to find out “the life” did not love him back. Abandoned by his gang. Now he’s trying to live by a code in a world that has changed around him during his 25 years in prison. Living a life full of regret. 

I certainly know the feeling. Like everybody, I have good days and bad days. And most of the time, I feel blessed. But there is this thing called the “Instagram Effect.” Widespread social media shows us the best, the most glamorous & filtered parts of everyone’s life. You start to think everyone is doing better than you. And this is probably why you start to feel bad about your life even though you know you are doing well. I’m aware of this effect and I still fall into his trap myself all the time. 

I struggle with this all the time as it’s a two edged sword for me. This dissatisfaction is fuel for my drive and work ethic. But it also leads to occasional despair and feelings of “what’s the point” of it all. Which causes me not to enjoy everything I’ve done so far. 

So I always do my gratitude exercise every night: running through the things I’m happy to have, my wealth, my family even through the rough patches, my books, my career that I only dreamed about as a kid. 

I also meditate everyday. Doing 20-30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes at night. It helps calm me. 

Exercise is great for this. Having a gym regime and personal trainer keeps you accountable. It’s probably also why I felt the need to restart fight training this year. There is no better exercise in staying present. Your mind drifts and you end up getting punched in the face. 

I do my daily review of my vision board and my annual and 3 year plans which helps me direct my angst and energy towards something good. 

Like Stallone’s gangster character Dwight in the show, you can only go forward. And don’t judge people’s lives from the outside, it’s like judging a book by its cover. I can tell you from experience, you may not like what you find inside.