A Walk Down Memory Lane: Using the Past to Improve your Future
I had the chance to visit my University (The University of British Columbia) after almost 25 years. Wow, has the place really changed. There were still elements I recognized but the place seemed busier and filled with lots of new buildings. And the students, everyone looked so young and excited. Doubly fun being able to do this and hang out with my Dad and my daughter.
It definitely made me very reflective. I thought about the young Marvin, a kid with a huge chip on his shoulder, with lots to prove to his family, friends and himself. A kid who never really felt like he fit in. One who kept quiet or talked about the stuff that everyone else cared about but I never really liked. (For the record, I hate hockey and only watch it for the fights. Also not that interested in football. The only real sports in my book are 3 Gun shooting, Mixed Martial Arts & Boxing) I was so angry and naive, so eager to get away from Canada for adventure in the real world.
In retrospect, not much has changed. I still feel like an outsider, still have a chip on my shoulder and still trying to prove myself. Yet I’m in an industry (Tech) and in a city (San Francisco, most of the time) that is full of outsiders and despite myself, feel I have thrived to a relatively good degree. It’s hard not to feel incredibly grateful for where things are at in my life & career right now. And most, importantly, I’m building and living a life that I could have only dreamed of as a young kid in Vancouver.
As we come to the end of the year, it’s a good time for reflection. Going back to places of your youth and childhood is an important ritual. It’s a reminder of how far you have come. And think of all you have experienced and done since then. This is doubly valuable for someone who is so goal-driven, insecure and never feeling accomplished enough. As my therapist has said, I’m far from easy on others but even harder on myself that I can’t enjoy anything I’ve earned. The shadow can be overwhelming.
This is also why you need these rituals as a good reminder of where you came from and who you really are. It’s almost like a reconciliation process. This process is an important step to help you become more comfortable with yourself. Which in theory should lead to some higher level of personal happiness. It’s working so far. Now, just like 25 years ago, I once again stand eager and ready to jump back into building the future. But this time with the hard lessons and the hindsight of my history. BRING IT ON!